Writing from the stemistry lab
The ChooseBooth Experience
by Barbara Gordon
‘The life of the world to come’ – what a statement. Can anyone come up with better slogans than God? Well possibly Shakespeare but that is absolutely it.
‘Sell it to them Charlie,’ had been his brief. ‘Sell it to them’.
Charlie was caught up in a fervour of enthusiasm, at last a product he could believe in and a franchise operation that would change the world. He could see a ‘ChooseBooth’ on every Station platform, on every Airport Concourse and in every hotel foyer from London to Los Angeles - from Bridlington to Bankok. Anything was possible – no leap of faith required (the Research Boys had already done this). Was it a boy or girl you wanted? Skin doesn’t fit anymore – buy some more. Hair falling out – get it re-tufted – what colour was it you wanted? Blonde, red, black the choice is yours. All that was required was a home computer, a ‘MiniMegaDisc’, a little sack of protein gel (available on-line from ChooseBoothApplications.com) and a credit card. Just insert card and disc into the ChooseBooth, download your choice onto the disc, and in the comfort of your own home, following the instructions on screen, you can be whatever you want to be.
The concept was revolutionary, superseding all those invasive treatments of old and he felt honoured to be called to deliver. And it was a calling - not just another money-making opportunity. No, Charlie saw himself as an evangelical, whose duty it was to spread the Word (with the help of a ChooseBooth). The Word, that at last addressed the oldest and trickiest conundrum that had pestered humankind since time began – put simply - to achieve happiness. In this case, happiness through the attainment of the perfect body. Lacking in sex appeal (just for the hobbyist of course) – just press the Male/Female Attraction Enhancer button. A little taller perhaps – choose the Height Gain option.
Of course, it has to be admitted, all this comes at a cost. But like everything else that’s technology-based, in time the cost comes down. However, Charlie felt that by applying a little imagination he could reach out to those who couldn’t afford it themselves. Perhaps he could persuade say a TV Game Show to offer it as a competition prize, or arrange for Gift Vouchers to be available from all major outlets – in fact the possibilities were endless. Oh yes, this was definitely going to be the next big thing in the evolution of the franchise philosophy – after all who could say they weren’t interested in happiness? All Charlie had to do was to mastermind a superb marketing exercise spearheaded by a catchy slogan, then sit back and wait for the money to roll in.
The life of the world to come indeed - and the next big thing in the evolution of the franchise philosophy!