that was strange what you said about the -- the rainbow though 'cause

well I read it and I didn't take it in

apart from the few things. But it was informative -- informative anyway

ah huh. I don't know, it was strange 'cause I remember driving back from (pause) oh God some Scarborough some somewhere right down right besides robin hoods bay and er we were coming across the moors and there was an absolutely huge rainbow that spanned the road we were going on and it was right besides the place em where the cars just conk out

err

It's a government facility there, but no-one knows what it does or no-one apparently knows what it does 'cause you can't get anywhere near the place, er and the -- the rainbow. It was the first time I'd almost seen the end of a rainbow and you know how you know it's completely fictitious that there's a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow. It got to a point where the ro- the road actually stopped and you could actually see the bottom part of the rainbow and I was thinking it's nuts but I want to stop here to see if there is a pot of gold at the bottom there, it was I've never

um

never been that close to a rainbow where you could actually see it

did you not find it like?

no

'cause you never let on

there was no pot of gold

aye

there was a few cow poos but I don't think there was any pot of gold but I've never ever been that close to a rainbow

well that place

eh- every time that you look it always seems to move further and further away 'cause it's obviously refraction of light

uh-huh

but er

well I can remember doing that refraction of light and things like that in physics or chemistry or something by then in college aww donkey's years ago, but that place you were talking about like government facility

uh-huh

I think that's somewhere near aww dear me just where they've taken that cab that em car that goes up Saltburn there's a car that goes down from the cliff tops

um

to the bottom to the beach and the pier

yeah yeah yeah

that's where that eh facility is

but that's

and I think there's a big dome or a big golf ball there

I don't know about a golf I just -- I just remember driving there we were coming back and there was there's a pub probably about three four miles away and er the amount of times that I've come past the place and there's AA cars there 'cause the batteries just drain overnight

uhh

so obviously there's -- some- there's something going on there

mm no

but it's a strange one

ey might get a television series out of it you know like em

you get a you get a bizarre radio signal as well 'cause it just drops it just as soon as you get in the valley it just wipes the -- your signal out

that's on the 171 Whitby to

I think it's further

Whitby to Scarborough

yeah it's going across the moors

ah huh that's Whitby to Scarborough the one seven one

aye so no

I've done it a few times

it's a strange place

in fact the last time I come across that road it was going back -- ah tell you I've been retired four years must be about nine years ago. Come -- went across the -- across there and back again one night with (NAME) (NAME)

um hmm

and we were following an order to door with the Co-op and we ended up pulling out of a pub half way across and having a meal 'cause we didn't go until about five o'clock at night and consequently we didn't get there until about eight o'clock at night and when we -- we took an hour to fault -- find the fault and fix it coming back it was half past nine and we were starving so we called into a little pub and it was quite nice which is unusual just first time into a pub and find out that you get a good meal f- reasonably cheap

mm. Makes a change doesn't it

it does it does

but rainbow. If you look on one side of the rainbow obviously the refraction is so that you can see if you go on the other side do you know what you see? Nothing 'cause the refraction doesn't happen on that side

well I never get the chance to look 'cause

mm

then your mother tells me look at that rainbow. I'm driving and as soon as I start to look she says keep your eyes on the road

(laughter)

so consequently I never see rainbow, unless it's I'm out walking

that sounds like mam that doesn't it

it does doesn't it

have a look at this but don't look at it

that's right (pause) I mean the DFDS boat comes in half past eight every morning without fail err to go into the Tyne

um huh

so consequently when we leave here about twenty five past eight, two minutes to the coast road and go down the coast road towards the town

yeah

you always see the boat and she'll sit there and say there's the boat again look it's either just going into the piers or it's a few hundred yards off the peers or something like that so I'll go to look, watch where you're going you'll hit the island in the middle of the roads so consequently I see these things out of the corner of my eyes (pause) she tells you one thing and then tells you not but as a typical woman

that's a woman I was just about to say that you've got no chance of winning this argument dad

aye

even when they're wrong they're right

that's right

and I'm finding that out quite -- quite readily

ah yeah even I think even (NAME) will be pushing that by now is she eh

aye had a little bit of a ding dong with umm

with who?

with (NAME) about (NAME)

mm?

about her part in the school play and a consequence of what (NAME) had said to her um (NAME) was to be a fire fly so she gets to dance about the stage which she was really chuffed about saying that it was the best part that she could have got any -- er coming home (NAME) has basically told her that was the worst part of the play so from being high as a kite

she went really down

sh- she cried for the next two hours so I -- I ended up speaking to (NAME) yesterday and er she was in tears by the end of it

then -- then you get wrong off (NAME) did you? Haha!

I didn't she -- she actually said thank you for -- for speaking up

ahh well that's a nice change

well it's not the trouble is (NAME) and (NAME) are so -- so alike that they'll argue black's white

umm

erm even when you prove them wrong they'll still argue that they're right and err once -- once they start arguing it, it just becomes a shouting match and I -- I just sat down and said look you need to be a little bit more mindful of what you talk about and how you say it 'cause she looks up to you that much then whatever you say is gospel to her and er it's not fair so yeah never mind that's -- that's by the by

so how did the barrow do? The wheel barrow

the wheel barrow or yeah good they're all dealing -- dealing with the horses yeah

is it ad adequate for the job?

yeah yeah it's -- it's huge so erm no but they're -- they're at the stables most of the nights now so I think they're quite pleased with it

'cause that front tyre will probably need blowing up every couple of months of something like that 'cause it'll just naturally loo- lose air so it'll get

as -- as much as I really want to get down and look after horses dad er I'll let them deal with that

well I've got a I've got an inflator here for it that's what I mean

no -- no if they want to pump up a tyre for a wheel barrow that they use on the on the horses they can do, I'm not going to go down and do it for them

no no I'm saying you can have the pump and give it to them simplicity to use you just stand on it

the only thing I would give to them is if I snapped it off their heads err especially 'cause I the car stinks of horse

does it? Orr

there's -- there's hay there's other bits of horses excretions that shouldn't be in cars and the whole place is just a mess but never mind that's

aye I had (NAME) (NAME) on the phone last night

how did that happen? Orr sorry

no it's just that I phoned him to 'cause when we were down there -- there was er at his

twenty-fifth

twenty-fifth silver wedding

yeah

anniversary do (pause) it was in a small room 'cause the hotel was getting done out

hmm

and it was very compact and they had a disco on and it was horrendous the racket so consequently me and your mother went upstairs to bed about half past nine or something like that just to get out of the room and the noise and em they didn't cut the cake and things like that until after that

mhmm

so consequently we didn't get any so when we saw one the Sunday morning I said hey mind put a bit in the post because I didn't get any

umm hmm

and there was that many people in his house it was untrue you couldn't sort of tell him to cut a bit now because there was that many people there

mm hmm

and he sent a piece up the other day and er I mean it was literally a piece you know so when he I phoned him back and he wasn't there and so he returned the call last night and said you know it was a canny weekend which it was and so I I took him to task like I said when I phoned you I said I left a message saying you se- you sent us a piece of cake I said I didn't say that I said I wanted a cake but I don't suppose that'll ever be foc- forthcoming

mm so you got a crumb rather than a piece of cake

that's -- that's very true yeah well he always falls on the right side did I tell you when he booked his trip to America?

no (pause) not unless it's recent

well he f- no this was about six months ago when they went and they were going to go for their silver wedding anniversary

mm hmm

so he wrote away to Q and R to get on the QE2 and he knew it was going a lil quite a bit of money and he didn't want a exclusive cabin sort of thing 'cause it was going to cost too much so he got a cabin which was literally just on the water line of the ship

yep

an inside cabin and he requested on the e-mail to them that he only wanted a table for two people 'cause he wanted to keep it intimate 'cause it was his twenty fifth wedding anniversary not at a table with ten or twelve or whatever it was

not even the captain

that's right and it's when his booking came back verified the found out he was sitting on a table with another eight people so he e-mailed them and said look you haven't kept to your contract that I've asked you to erm blah blah blah sort of thing and what had happened a fortnight later he got back and e-mail saying apologies this that and the other will you please accept an upgrade and erm you will receive an e-mail with the picture of the ship and where we're going to put you within the next day or so and believe it or not when he got this e-mail with the picture of the ship

he got deck side

he went from the water line

he got an outside cabin with a balcony (laughter)

to an outside cabin with a balcony

(laughter)

and a suite of rooms it must've been the deck below the captain it was unbelievable he -- he said the -- the suite cost three thousand pounds just for the suite sort of thing that was before obviously you get all the food and drink and everything in with it

yeah yeah yeah

before all that was taken in and so so it must have been at least a five thousand pound touch he said we had wor own personal wine waiter wor own own waiter to bring us wor food and everything like that at every meal and we had our own table for two and he said I couldn't believe it I says there's not many people that can get an upgrade like you (unclear) somebody else would get an upgrade they'd maybe go to the floor above or something like that but he went about ten stories higher eee unbelievable

that's the way to do it

undoubtedly. I've tried to tell him I'll send him a couple of grand if he can sort of book me in by the waterline and get us an upgrade up there

that's -- that's what you need to do you need to have someone who works for a company and the purposely to get your thing wrong

definitely (unclear)

and then or sorry about that I don't know how that happened but here you go there's the captain's table yeah

there's not many people that can manage that

never mind never mind

he always came out holding a song even when he put his hand down the loo (pause) eerhh

orrhh

well these aren't doing much good are they

they're not

oh six another wicket gone

what happened at your golf?

orhh ha ha ha (laughter) don't say

what you don't want that on re you don't want that recorded do you (laughter)

horrendous eee well the eighteenth can you picture it?

which course?

er the big one can't remember what they call it Huntington is it?

the Hunting

hunting

the Hunting oh of course you know as well

the one that goes down the hill that goes over the little burn yeah

down the hill to the burn and then across the other side and onto the flag

yeah

well I well I'd had a horrendous day as it happened anyway to from there and I hit a reasonable drive sort of to the top of the hill you know where you could see the burn at the bottom

yeah

err well we'd all hit reasonable drives and anyway my second I thought I'd put in the burn but it had stopped six inches this side so I was okay (NAME) went hit the right hand set of trees and as it went through you heard clunk where it had hit the wall and he lost it completely (pause) the other two who were playing wuh they both went in the burn so they had to drop out of that obviously so looking canny

(laughter) well you were the only one in play so I would imagine it's got to be looking quite good here

that's right

so as I say I was about six inches from the burn so I thought it was an eight it was roughy stuff so I took an eight hit it and it went hit the wall back over my head about ten yards anyways I was still best off so the next one I got I got over and I got half way to the green err (NAME) dropped one and I think he got half way to the green as well and the other two once they'd picked out of the gree- out of the burn (NAME) hit it just got over the burn into some real thick muck and the other lad

um hm

did just about the same I think and then them two proceeded on and lost their balls going for the green 'cause they went far left and there's like a big row of trees and they went far left into the rough stuff

yeah

couldn't find their ball so they had to drop it twice sort of thing

ye you cannot say you've lost this hole please don't tell me you've lost this hole

no we we didn't so anyway (laughter)

(laughter)

to cut a longer story short I ended up taking nine halving the hole with the other two and (NAME) won it on an eight (laughter) but anyway winning that meant 'cause we were playing two pounds for the front nine two pounds for the back nine and two pound for the game

so you won six quid

so no so they won the front nine two nil two holes to none err we won the back nine by err well we drew the back nine with err the eighteenth (NAME) winning that so we didn't pay any money out to anybody but what a day it was horrendous the golfing

I think that part of the cor- I think that's the worst part of the course that the Hunting the last four holes I just don't like them

well it's the ten eleventh and twelfth and thirteenth that I don't like up and down that err that field

mmm

but of course when I came back I was going to take your mother out and we were going to have a curry down Ocean Road but she couldn't be bothered she'd been in all day sort of thing so she just wanted to stay in and I was keen to go and have a curry 'cause I was starving I'd not had anything since nine o'clock anyways I went and got a carry out and brought it back I got up err Thursday morning orr me legs just weren't there it's a devil of a long course that

that's why you get a buggy

orrr ah but you've got to keep fit man that's why you pull a buggy you don't get an electric buggy I will next time (laughter)

aye it's evil it's just long the hills

evil long well especially the ninth un all when you're coming back to the hotel I felt as though there was no I was never going to get to that green it was just that far away

well if you take a nine on the eighteenth I'm not surprised you probably would have taken fifty three wouldn't you

aye I would have done eee but it was horrendous

why didn't you play the other course I actually think the other course is

'cause (NAME) had booked it 'cause now erm Slaley have got this thing I don't know whether it refers to your dad's erm timeshare whatever they've got

um (cough)

but if (NAME) instead of joining the golf club at Slaley he 'cause he only plays now and then sort of thing he goes and he spends a hundred pound err and he gets a hundred points and every time he goes up there they deduct so many points for that game

orr right

so if you play in the summer and you play on the big course you get the most points deducted if you play on the second course you get less points and if you play in the winter you get less points deducted again so anyway somebody must have made a mistake 'cause he went in I think he said he had ninety points on his card and he paid for the four of us and when he came back he still had seventy one points on his card (laughter) so

maths doesn't even add up there ninety for three thir- third of a point

no that was nineteen ah ha well maybes he might he might have got an odd number and then you know us three sort of maybes what five a piece and him got four 'cause he was a member I don't know but that's err it's a cheaper way of doing it well it's obviously a cheaper way's best for me like 'cause it didn't cost us a penny

did he drive up as well or did you drive up?

no no he drove up

orr so it cost you nowt for the game petrol you didn't even lose

aye zilch nothing at all I didn't I just got sore knees walking on the course

and ye and you played pants

I did I played ee terrible but can you remember the last time where you there? No it was me (NAME) you who else was it

it was (NAME) it was the four of us or was it (NAME)?

day was it (NAME) and (NAME) aye that might have been it

yeah 'cause (NAME) wasn't up 'cause he was babysitting

no (NAME) was there 'cause he was the only one that hit a decent drive off the first tee

orrr that second day no and the blo the bloke turned round and said lads you've got to get round in four hours

aye orr that second bloke that's right aye lads it takes you about four hours to get round this course don't hold anybody up (laughter)

and not one not one of yous got off the tee did you

orr one did but he went up onto the I think he went up onto the practice ground on the left

eee I remember walking round with you disgusted starter must have just cringed when he saw the four of you

that's right he must have cried (laughter)

yeah can you take a picture of us yeah yeah yeah is this the first time you've played no but it would have looked like it

hey but mind it was lovely on Wednesday even though it was blow blowing a holy

mhmm

'cause on the first it was right in your face and you yeah hardly got across is it the little stream there

the first

on the first

is there a stream there?

is it a stream you've got to go across

there is there is just after the tee isn't there

aye just after the tee we hardly got across that with the wind ye the ball went up and then it just went up like that and then just dropped anyway we got off there to go on the second it was a calm day it was beautiful

I think you find that there must be westerly

and then the third was a lovely day as well

yeah

and when you hit the odd hole you got the wind again at you

yeah

but by the -- the weah time we'd finished the ninth and walked up to the tenth it was it was nearly a -- a due day it was beautiful the sun was warm and wind had gone it was a -- a ni- nice walk in the country sort of thing apart from the useless golf that we played but there wasn't there wasn't a soul on the course

was there not?

mm well we say not a soul there was the odd two ball or something like that

well that's what you want

but nobody at all

well I'll have to get to see if (NAME)'s back's up to it

oh you want that thing off me

ah it's all right

it's in the car remind us on before you go

get up and er have a game if it's empty

so I think he said it was eighteen fifty for the Hunting is that the big one

'cause Hunting the Hunting's the big one the Priestman is er isn't it?

Prie- which one's the big one?

the Hunting's like the main course

is it well it's eighteen fifty for the Hunting and I think it's fifteen for the Priestman but it's written on the back of the whatsit

ah right

and that's chargeable so it must be thirty six pounds a round on the big course

it's it's certainly a lot more expensive in the summer

urrr

ah

although a -- a year or so ago it was that game when we went up then and played with your dad and that

mmm

I mean it was only about twenty it was that day you went and paid for the reef paid for -- for all

yeah but (NAME) (NAME) got -- (NAME) got dispensation didn't he

and you had to get it back on your card but (NAME) getting a priory I think it was only about twenty pounds or something like that I've never paid err paid money like thirty six pound

(pause) well like the official price is eighty pounds a round in the summer

what?

yeah but we get the discount so

eighty pound a round

that that's why when we got the vouchers I was thinking it was just that price and then that you'd get half again but since it was already em cheaper as a result I don't think we've we actually made anything out of the out of the vouchers but you win some you lose some

yeah well I lost I've lost quite a bit of whatever on that day that game on Wednesday I think I'll hang my clubs up for a year or two I get too old to swing them

aye you'll just have to get a buggy

that's it must take it out of us walking all that way round

it does it whack whacks right out

although I cannot claim that on the first from the first tee can you?

no you can't really 'cause the distance from the restaurant to the first tee's kind of very -- very short

very true very true

very short indeed no had a

had a

had a game of cards Tuesday just gone

umm who was there?

and ah (NAME) (NAME) (NAME) and me and Mr (NAME)

(NAME) (NAME) (NAME) all right

so er obviously with (NAME) being staunch Newcastle fan and (NAME) and (NAME) being er being er Sunderland fans um it was brilliant just -- just being able to sit there and not have to like say anything but the -- the grief it was just it was almost palpable to the fact that you like sit there waiting for them to just say right come on get it over and done with just can you can you mention the score and I was like just sat there what was what was the score what ma what match are you talking about or the -- the Newcastle erm what was that other team they were in red and white and they were really pants four five one that was it I I forgot I lost count the I remember it was all my fingers on one hand and yous got one yeah that was it and then (NAME) turned round and he says orr coming out of the game there was actually a guy in the pub who'd actually had his er shirt printed must have been twenty minutes after the game in the score written Newcastle Sunderland five one and the date

never

he said he must have ran from the ground got to a press got it put on and then ran straight back to the pub

aye

he says err what's the difference between sun Sunderland and Kevin Nolan (pause) err Kevin Nolan can deal with Andy Carroll

err or right

being as Sunderland couldn't all game er just s- sat there just laughing it was just it was lovely first time I've ever heard ever seen (NAME) not being able to talk about football

Never

he was like well er I said no fair enough we were hammered I was like yeah

so did you hammer them at cards as well?

I did

did you did you win?

actually -- actually won

(cough)

brought -- brought my er losing streak to an end

ah right

must have been seven or eight games since I won an er

must be 'cause you're playing on a Tuesday night instead of a Wednesday maybes

well if that's the case we'll be playing on a lot more Tuesday er I've never ever had such a horrible streak of cards but

well (pause) did you see the match last night (pause) channel five

Liverpool?

aye

err they were one nil down and they looked pants (pause) the team the team

eee they did they were pants the first half and then they brought Gerrard on the second half ey what a difference (pause) eee

who were who were

a little lump of gold in the middle of a er

a pile of poo

err aye a pile of iron file iron filings he was fantas- he scored a hat trick

ah a I read that well I saw the comments this morning aye

eh everything that he did well it it just sparkled

it just shows you how much how bad that team is in comparison if he can shine that quickly

it was magic definitely (pause) oh hopeless

aye

well -- well they're nothing on the team that em what they call him? The manager previous

Benitez

Benitez (pause) they're not a patch on what he had on the field

I mean the team they had out probably didn't have many of the stars in it but the he seems to have er it's almost four five one that Liverpool were playing and they play with two holding players and the two holding players don't go anyway they just sit

aye well the two holding players las- last night or was it? Aye last night were somebody called Smalling

Paulson -- Paulson and Smalling

no not Paulson erm eh you're in the new lad he's the first something like that yeah balled head ey he just was give the first goal away put a pass back straight onto their forwards ey it was terrible and then Gerrard came on and it at least it was it was good football as well that that he made them play

aye it just shows you what a player does for a team

oooh too true

no no they were pants they were pants aye but the Newcastle game Tiotte he was just brilliant

who?

the guy who sits in the middle Tiotte

or yeah ah

ah he was just no he just made everything click

the black fellow (pause) mmm hmm

he just played his he just never seems to give the ball away which makes a change for Newcastle so desperate to get down to the other end but

mm well mind Nolan's playing differently 'cause when he was at was it Bolton he was at Bolton?

mm hmm

he used to be more half back player where Newcastle se- seem to just play him just behind Carroll

he was he always used to score his fair share of goals 'cause he as soon as he gets in the box he's a better player than what he his outside

aye but he never used to score like what he's scoring at Newcastle is he?

aye he's been quite prolific you can't argue with it though can you?

oh no

if you get a mid fielder scoring ten goals a season

well who have they got they've got Arsenal this weekend haven't they?

yeah that could be that could be problematic

I think it could be haha (unclear)

bit you never know 'cause they've just come back from Europe so

aye they got beat

but

there's a bit in there about Wenger being a whiner

he's French

(laughter)

(laughter) not tryin- not trying to be completely nationalistic but that's all he does he just whinges constantly (pause) who was em Blackpool manager Holloway

Holloway oh aye

and he he was trying to refer to Alex Ferguson

right

Alex McJockstrap no Alex McJock

Alex McJock

tha- that's what he called him couldn't remember his name you know that guy at Man-U Alex Mc err Mc er McJock you know him

(laughter)

I was just thinking well wait for you to go to Man-U you're going to get a great reception

(laughter) Alex McJock

yeah

orr look at that one there

mi he might have ah I didn't I don't think he called him Jockstrap but just not a good thing

aye ehh

at lea- at least he makes things er fun

oh he does I bet he's a diff definitely a different manager

I think

you know (unclear)

you'd enjoy playing for him to be honest he's just he's er he's honest enough (pause) too honest

mm hmm

Gordon Strachan without hair

well look at them the other night did you see that when they played (pause) did they win? Blackpool playing someone I can't remember who it was now but the other team oh West Brom and West Brom got two men sent off

oh I didn't see the game

(cough) and I th- and they just won -- ah they won two-one, that was it and I wouldn't care, they played West Brom were down to n- ten men just about five minutes after the beginning of the game and from half time they were down to nine men (pause) and er West Brom did all the attacking in the second half just about (pause) so I cannot see Blackpool holding their own uh up here