OK guys, er (pause) introduce yourselves, what's -- what's your names?

My name is (NAME) (NAME) (NAME).

(NAME) (NAME) (NAME), nice to meet you

Good -- good to see you guys, good to see you

It is

em, how -- how about your ages, how old are you?

Oh I'm twenty three years old

Ah you?

Almost

(laughter) I was going to say aye

Almost (pause) I'm going to generalise it as twenty three

You -- you started in ten seconds and you've started lying

(laughter)

OK, OK, I'm twenty two

Twenty two, almost twenty three or?

Almost twenty three yes, on the twentieth November, twenty three, better have some good presents lined up

All right, definitely have good presents. Well I'm twenty two merging into twenty three. However to be honest they're probably going to be hearing this presentation when I'm twenty three years old (pause) (interruption) that's what I'm thinking

(interruption) Yes, aye, aye

When -- when is your birthday?

Tenth of December, when does the coursework (interruption) get handed in?

(interruption) George's is sooner than yours!

Yes it is, I know, I know, I say twenty two and he's lying

Um, where -- whereabouts do you live?

The famous Darras Hall

Aye, same

Where -- where is that? Is it (interruption) close

(interruption) er, next to Newcastle Airport

It's renowned for several things -- we've got the Darras Hall rapist. It's (NAME) (NAME) or whatever his name is

Aye

Yeah he was er, he won the national lottery when he was in jail (pause) came out of jail (interruption) and bought a house in Darras Hall

(interruption) Yes it's true, it's true aye (pause) He came out of jail and he had his lottery winnings, so he moved to where we live (pause) we've got um footballers of Newcastle and Sunderland live there (pause) em we've got

We've got Alan -- Alan Shearer lives round the corner, legend, the legend

Does he actually?

Aye, Peter Beardsley like as well, Peter Beardsley

My house is opposite er Leon Best's, while he's slowly recovering from his injury

I live on a street full of absolute gangsters (laughter)

(NAME) lives with gangsters (interruption) not even lying

(interruption) Gangsters and drug dealers on my street

And drug dealers

We -- we have like the quaint household of the street. You know the nice friendly household

The nice one just

Yeah then you've got the gangster, like the X5's driving past and you've got the Porsche Cayennes like

People who have done very well in dodgy business anyway living next door to (NAME) (laughter)

(laughter) Where -- Where were you born? 'Ah I was born in Lemmington, I just moved to Darras Hall with my dad' (laughter)

(laughter) No he didn't

Started shooting people, just started killing people, use the business as a front, ah no you live in Darras Hall aren't you famous? The kid's (interruption) at

(interruption) No it does, it does have nicer residents though, it has got it's fair share of doctors and er

Yeah there's a few, there's a couple, friendly, (interruption) friendly characters

(interruption) And er retired people

It used to be a nice little retirement town (interruption) Darras Hall

(interruption) It did, it used to be very pleasant until er until it got awful

And everyone just knocks down all the bungalows, basically every plot of land in Darras Hall has a quarter of an acre each and so they buy like two plots of land with the old bungalows on, knock them down, build a massive mansion and let a footballer slash drug dealer move in (laughter) and then you're sorted

Yeah absolutely

Is it quite a nice place though?

(interruption) Yeah aye

(interruption) Yeah it's really nice we've got a good selection of pubs, we've got like the pon, we've got the pon triangle of pubs

Yes

There's three pubs within a hundred metres of each other which is absolutely awesome (pause) so (interruption) you just have like

(interruption) Pretty, it's a pretty good location?

Yeah it is (pause) a good location

You can walk home from all of the pubs so

(laughter) Exactly

Which is very helpful

Just do the general rounds and then amble home afterwards on a -- on a sturdy Friday night session

Yes

Ever er (pause) ever stumble into any of the -- the footballers?

Oh aye happens all the time (pause) might have a bit of chat with er (pause) you know (NAME) (NAME) see if he can rise to one of our comments but he

(laughter) try and wind him up

Just let him beat his lass instead of us (laughter)

(laughter) See if we can wind the Sunderland players up but er it tends not to work

Aye (pause) I talk to a couple of footballers now you don't really know what to say when you walk up (interruption) to one

(interruption) No you don't

You think you've got something really you know you want to think of something different to say to a footballer than your standard crack and then you walk up to a footballer and all you think of is, 'good goal on Saturday against the Mackems!' (pause) all you can think of saying is like how cliched is that?

Ah you played -- you played very well and they're like 'yeah I know the media and my manager told us (pause) the last thing I really need is your approval'

(laughter) Aye, thank you very much 'The Sun Newspaper gave me a nine out of ten you just clearly gave me an eight there. How dare you? You know?' (laughter)

(laughter)

The Sun Newspaper says that then I'm going to stand by a newspaper article

Yeah, yeah, thanks to this random guy who's walked to the back with a couple of pints, aye you did all right but y'knaa you could have finished another one

And then we're sat there trying to chat up the (interruption) like the

(interruption) their birds

Aye their birds and stuff, (laughter) aye (laughter)

Telling them that we're (unclear) but we're clearly not! (laughter)

Hi I'm (NAME) (NAME) of Darras Hall you know trying to say that to (NAME) (NAME) of Newcastle like (pause) OK fair enough go off with him if you like

Going after the footballer's entourage?

Yeah exactly

Have you always lived there?

No, have you?

No I haven't always lived there I'm a Geordie

Aye, you used to live in em

No, no, no, Heddon On The Wall

Heddon On The Wall

Yes I used to live in (interruption) Heddon

(interruption) You know where foot and mouth started? (pause) Foot and mouth?

I lived (pause) I lived in the origin of foot and mouth

He actually start (pause) well his farm next door, he didn't start (interruption) it himself

(interruption) Heddon On The Wall farm is where foot and mouth started it yeah

(interruption) Actually started it yeah

No it's Heddon On The Wall because the village was pretty much built on the Roman wall and the majority of the early houses there were built using the stones from the Roman Wall (pause) So we've got quite a depleted wall in the area. But yeah yeah it runs right through it. It was, that was a nice little village to grow up in it had em (pause) It's right at the very, very top so it overlooks the valley and the whole of Heddon so if you've got like a house on the bank like overlooks the whole of Newcastle and everything. It's a nice place to live like but I'm pleased I moved to Darras

Aye

It's where the school was so like that's how I met (NAME) over here and er (pause) good times

I used to live in er in Ilford Road, which is just two Metro (interruption) stops up from here

(interruption) Oh Yeah

Or one even that? Where are we West Jesmond?

Aye, it's one Metro stop up from here (pause) um but apparently according to my parents when she used to push us round in the buggy (pause) I used to have black snots from all the traffic and pollution so she decided it would be a safer place to move out to the country

(laughter) That's such a mother thing to say isn't it (pause) (NAME) has been picking up mud from the garden picking his nose you know (pause) that's the only kind of that's the kind of comment a mother would come out with (laughter)

Aye, so er (pause) we got shifted

Moving out of the er the inner-city?

mm, hmm

Yeah Darras Hall's like a nice -- a nice blend between the two you've got the access to the city 'cause I mean a lot of big cities you go to, to get to a place like that you know it's (pause) you're going to have to drive for like an hour or something to get outside Newcastle you know is quite a dense city it's got everything it needs it's like a fifteen minute drive and then you're out there

Ah, it's ideal

Would you -- would you say there's much of a -- a community feel there (pause) or?

Yes (pause) (interruption) Yes there is, there is yeah

(interruption) There is, ah I think there is, a spirit

We had a (pause) we went to school in the area as well so there was only about a five or ten minute walk (pause) em from my house, I think (NAME) had about a fifteen or twenty minute walk from his. But there was aye, it's quite a, it's a small village in the sense that everybody knows each other's business

Yeah

So most of the time it's quiet (pause) and everyone's really friendly and then occasionally it just erupts, but it erupts just horribly because everybody does know each other's business, so it's not like a town when you don't actually know who you bumped into, you actually know (interruption) like

(interruption) You know what you're going to say to each other

mm-mm

You do get, you get the nice quaint little people who are there with like their (pause) we've got the Rotary Club

For the tape, (NAME)'s entered the room

Yeah hello (NAME)

Aye, putting the butter into the fridge

Good lass

And is leaving (interruption) (NAME) (pause) is the cake coming?

(interruption) Hope -- hope (pause) hope this will lead up to cake and custard when the cake comes

Anyway, where were we?

Yes sorry Yes you get like the (interruption) pleasant little (unclear) in Darras.

(interruption) For the tape, (NAME)'s entered the room

You get the OAP's and everything like that (pause) you've got the Rotary Club they do their little charitable bit there's a lovely little church there

It has it's own news erm newsletter as well that goes out every month for all like the local community em (pause) rubbish and er th- that's happened over the last month is reported on, such as em (pause) such as where people are allowed to park, if there's a little bit too much rubbish in the (pause) (laughter) things like that (laughter)

Yeah s- somebody damaged the park last weekend using the graffiti tag of (pause) like S dash something or other. It'd be like, ah dear God they're never going to catch the little kids

Aye, you'd never

But like it does sort of erupt from there what I said the eruptions that do happen in the middle of Ponteland, you've got like you know we're talking about the drug dealers that'll move in the wrong people (pause) you get the sons who are just they know they're lawless they know they can get away with absolutely anything. So they (pause) this is the bad side of it this is like it's like it all over the place but like this sort of summarizes it because they know they can get away with it (pause) the police know who they are and they'll walk around Ponteland a really nice village like next to Darras Hall like they'll walk around and they'll yeah somebody that they don't (interruption) like they'll beat them

(interruption) they know -- they know who they are, but they know they're going to get away with it

They'll beat them to the ground and kick them to a pulp (pause) It's horrible to see this (pause) we stood out by a bar once in the middle of Ponteland

We saved someone once, um we saw someone getting -- getting beat up and er

There were about six (interruption) or seven kids around and the man he was on the deck

(interruption) I had -- I had to ring the er ambulance and er direct the ambulance in

His head propped up against the side of the road, he's completely knocked out unconscious on the ground (pause) his face was smashed to pieces

But most of (interruption) the time

(interruption) You know when we were sitting there OK. (NAME) had called the er ambulance right. I had his head propped up and even when we were doing that and the bloke was lying on the ground the charvers who were up the street you know causing all the bother, they were the ones that were sort of they were still standing shouting abuse at us for helping this bloke and was like the sec the police turned up knew who they were they couldn't do anything about it (pause) and we here if we were to identify them they've seen our face we -- we identify them all right and then the next thing we know 'cause they know where we live you got petrol coming through your letter box being set on fire. You're going to have one something like that, you're going to have an (NAME) (NAME) situation with his car you know (pause) you make a bad name for yourself you become a target immediately, so you got to, you got to think about your family as well at the same time do good but also think about your family in the back of your mind

Yeah

But, overall, most of the time it's a nice (pause) it's probably a, probably as pleasant a place as you could live compared to other areas (interruption) of er Newcastle like

(interruption) Definitely

But hmm aye, erm it does, it does sometimes erupt (laughter) But usually, aye back to this newsletter normally the biggest complaint is like there's no access to the er the disabled um trolleys (laughter) and there's not enough -- there's not enough car parking spaces (pause) for -- for (interruption) the elderly people

(interruption) make a complaint to

Yeah (laughter)

Waitrose has removed it's extra disabled spot in the car park you know what I mean they'll be an uproar about that

(laughter) Yeah It'll be like front page news (laughter)

Ah, absolutely, aye

D- Do you live there with your families both of you is it?

Yes

No I don't live with my family anymore, I moved out when I started university I thought yeah (pause) I was going to university in Newcastle anyway so I thought I wanted to get a really full taste of university so I thought right I'll move to the halls (pause) catered halls mind so (pause) like everyone else would y'knaa do their own washing on the weekends and I was like, 'mam I haven't seen you in a while fancy a catch up?' and then whilst we'd catch up I'd present her with my washing (pause) you know it's like it's an excuse for her to see me she's over the moon

It's a good opportunity for you isn't it?

Yeah exactly

It was a great excuse for me as well, 'cause obviously I started university at the same time as (NAME) (pause) and um I just used to stay on your floor on -- on (interruption) Saturday nights

(interruption) He'd just sleep on the floor

We both worked in -- in a local cafe

Yeah

Slash child's soft play area

Slash (interruption) child's soft play area

(interruption) That doesn't sound great over that, (NAME) with a (interruption) cheeky burp on that (laughter)

(interruption) Pardon, pardon, pardon

We've just enjoyed a very nice Sunday dinner, I apologise to the radio listeners

(laughter) But yeah we so what we used to do was em (pause) me and (NAME) both got like a little sort of a banter part-time job in a -- in a kids play area

One of our friends used to have a business er

We used to work every Sunday though and er (pause) I used to stay at (NAME)'s on a Saturday night and we used to go to Wiggle and literally till five in the morning be out and then

Where's this?

It's Northumbria University it's one of the (pause) yeah one of the big events

It's like the Saturday night events, it doesn't exist now, but um in our first year it did and er it's not a Saturday night now is it? Friday night now isn't it?

Saturday night (pause) I -- I don't -- don't even think that went on anymore but yeah we did on Saturday nights and so basically we used to turn up to work in just (interruption) a

(interruption) Struggle, struggle through the first couple of hours, (interruption) fingers crossed they were (unclear)

(interruption) Yeah I know like (pause) because we knew all the customers there as well you know our bosses were like just pretend the boss is off had an early night and everything, because we knew the customers the customers would walk up and be like, '(NAME) do you want some chewing gum I can smell the red wine on your breath?'

(laughter)

Y'knaa I was like 'ah thank you very much!' you know and my hand's shaking while I'm making a cup of tea for them you know just slowly easing up to them. They're like ah it's all right leave him alone

Just -- just keeping a low profile?

Yeah the worst thing is in the child's soft play area as well

(interruption) Ah massively keep a low profile! You couldn't really keep a low profile for long

You -- you'd have a have a parent coming up to you as well because it's the child's soft play area as well (pause) my child's been sick and I'm like to be fair with the hangover that I've got I'd be like, 'girls where are you? come on get on it!'

We -- we did used to have an army of sixteen-year-old girls who we did (pause) somehow manage to be the managers of and er 'cause we were given team leader status but from no -- from no er (pause) no fault of our own like (laughter) we used to (interruption) just

(interruption) We got team leader status because we were very good at delegating (laughter) you know

Yeah literally we'd work out what the problem was then and then suggest that other people sorted it and that used to

So Anything that would involve me losing like my stomach (pause) due to like the activities from the night before I'd be like, 'girls can you sort that please?'

(laughter)

Mate you have like, you have the weirdest scenarios y'knaa like a little kid running up to you and they'll be like, 'I've had a poo (laughter) outside the toilet' and you'd be like right OK I go and get something (pause) now -- now where -- where is it you little child 'it's a secret!' and the little kid will run off

Honestly, honestly this is a true story

I'd be like oh my God I've got a massive kids soft play area this kid's just came up to me and told me he's had a cheeky poo

He told me he had er (pause) what did he say it was, it was, it was a secret y'knaa it was a (pause) (laughter) the secret poo that he'd had and um ran off (pause) and we had to search the whole place to find it (laughter)

But you give it a good (pause) you give it your five minute search so it looks really good for health and safety officers and then (interruption) after

(interruption) For the tape, (NAME)'s entered the room with three small cakes

Does custard come with the cake?

Thank you very much

Oh you'll have to, you'll have to chase up -- chase up (NAME) on that one

Chase the custard

Chase the custard (pause) spoon please

Um so would you say it -- would you say it was quite a, quite a stressful and high -- high demanding job working there?

(laughter) absolutely not (pause) Yeah you had moments of stress but like

It was as stressful as you made it and we didn't make it stressful at all, we used to have cups of tea all the time during it

The only difficulty was getting through the ten hour shift in one piece

Yeah, yeah, timing was difficult as well

Y'Knaa just talking to irritating customers that are (pause) like we -- we made it fun for ourselves. You got some really idiot customers I mean it's (pause) it was in a rough area this play area so I mean you had your idiot customers coming in and we just had our games between ourselves just to wind up the idiot customers like for instance there was a gate to get in there was a gate to exit

mm-mm

Ok and the gate to get in you would push it the gate to get out you'd pull it towards you all right (pause) really, really simple stuff and then you'd get an idiot stand there trying to play with the gate unable to open it so we would say like (pause) you know paradox kind of lines to the people and it would just confuse the hell out of them (pause) just be like 'ah can you just pull it away from you?'

Yeah 'if you could just push it towards you there' (laughter) people would be like 'ah right aye just push it towards us' and push it and it wouldn't go anywhere y'knaa

They're like (pause) they're like they can't understand the term push it towards you pull it away from you

(interruption) You'd go just pull it away from you there and they'd be like pulling it

So it was basically just confusing the hell out of idiots that were there as well (pause) were really patronising to some of the customers but only the ones that deserved it

For the record, this er this cake is delicious

Aye, very good (pause) It was good fun working there though

I got a girlfriend out of it as well so (interruption) y'knaa

(interruption) Yeah he got a girlfriend out of it

Every -- every cloud you know (laughter)

Yeah exactly y'knaa

Um (pause) so going back to er going back to your family and things, how about brothers and sisters do you have them, extended families and that or?

(NAME) has quite an (pause) (NAME) has an attractive sister

(laughter) Right, for the tape, (NAME)'s sister is a model (interruption) right

(interruption) No, no

And actually, n- not a lie she actually does model clothes and the reason for that is due to her attractiveness

Why do people keep serving thick gravy Ok Sunday dinner gravy was in a cup (pause) we've got custard in a cup Ok it's going to go everywhere why can't I proper pour it?

Ok er back to the topic (interruption) at

(interruption) back to (NAME)'s sister

Back to the topic of (NAME)'s sister right (pause) in a in a yeah I would basically yeah that's all you need to say about that

Do you just have one sister (pause) (NAME) or?

(interruption) We do need a spoon (pause) yeah yeah I just have the one sister (pause) a bit of a nightmare, (interruption) she

(interruption) He used to have a cat as well that em that was put down five or six years later than it probably should have been

Definitely not! (pause) He was a nice family cat for every day of my life (pause) a nice little friendly creature you told me he looked like a chicken

(laughter) No, a chicken. A chicken that had already been eaten like the leftover of an eaten chicken

Q- Quite a strange looking family pet (pause) would you say?

No (pause) it was your normal cat (pause) it -- it was a perfectly normal cat (pause) OK you can't say ok that a cat won't look normal at the age of eighteen. It's like an old man that's in his wheelchair yes he was probably smashing back in the day he was probably a footballer but he's not going to be kicking the football around anymore right he is pretty damn old

True, true

Y'Knaa so they're the kind of lines you want to go along y'knaa (pause) y'knaa your war veterans you can't imagine them picking up an AK47 these days and going back into battle

Probably right there

Yeah Yeah exactly so my cat had his day and (NAME) saw him in his more weakened years

In it's, in it's twilight years when rigor mortis had already kicked in. However, it was still classified as alive

Here for the record, I'm struggling with this cake (pause) I need a fork or a spoon

How about you (NAME), would you say you've got quite an extended family, globally, worldwide is that?

Yeah um my uncle lived in Dubai for a while which was very useful for um family holidays (pause) and I've also got some aunties that lived in Florida as well and California so em (interruption) hopefully

(interruption) Quite diverse yeah

Hopefully we'll be able to get some em some er cheaper sort of holidays lined up as well and -- (interruption) and get ourselves over there

(interruption) Yeah, a few -- few places to stay

Yeah, yeah so you know if you want to make any bids for a place, (laughter) stay friends, certainly let us know yeah (laughter)

So you've been to Dubai then?

Yes, aye, aye it was just for about, I think it was nine days overall but absolutely brilliant yeah

Amazing

Absolutely brilliant aye, we did um (pause) we did the desert in Jeeps, we did em (interruption) snorkelling, sc- scuba diving

(interruption) (NAME)'s first proper abroad holiday

And all of that sort of stuff yeah so

Amazing

For the record, (NAME) is now in the room, eating custard as well

We don't want to hear her talk though so

Because that would ruin the interview

We're talking like extended family there?

Yeah we're just talking family and -- and your ties and stuff

Any -- any extended sort of family members?

My only family member that lives abroad I've got a cousin that lives out in Australia (pause) I went out to Australia as well went to visit her when I was out there that was unreal absolutely amazing trip and er (pause) yeah I don't really have any, my family's just mainly always been in Newcastle, based in Newcastle and erm

Yeah

Yeah basically you know

All like local, North East and stuff?

Yeah I don't really have massive like (pause) some people have massive (unclear) where they have relatives all over the world and things like (pause) there are some people that -- that I would class as like relatives but y'knaa are they really relatives?

But they wouldn't recognise him in the street

Exactly

So they're not really relatives

Yeah

Relatives are the ones that send you cards at Christmas

And (unclear)

How about your parents, what er (pause) what jobs do they do?

Em (pause) my dad's now a part-time sport's coach, having finally retired from call centre work after fifty years

Wow

So (laughter) now em, he teaches er three to six-year-olds badminton and cricket as well, yeah so em

Good for the -- good for the community?

Yeah ah Yeah well we fund it seeing as um the kids themselves seem to pay like a pound an hour for like a hundred lessons, (unclear)

Yeah you're doing a very (interruption) generous thing here

(interruption) Yeah thanks everyone

Your dad seems a lot happier for it

Yeah people who think that their kids get taught badminton an hour for a pound wonder how it's funded, now they know but then still complain that their kid didn't have enough attention and can't hit it very well for a pound an hour

Maybe because he's about (pause) three stone over the top y'knaa or something like that

Probably because he's never ever been sporty in his life

Because (pause) after the sport the weight loss you've just fed him three cakes and a custard cream or something like that and you expect him to lose a bit of weight and it's not quite (interruption) happened

(interruption) Like Sunday dinner and then cake and then custard or something like that

How about -- how about your mum (NAME) what does -- what does she do?

(NAME)'s dad!

(laughter) not for a long, long time (laughter) not that I've heard anyway, em she works in -- in insurance (pause) so she um it's -- it's IT, it's computer programming but within an insurance company, so um when people ring up and they've crashed their cars and say that they've y'knaa they've injured people and that, er she does the, she writes the programmes for the claim to handle (interruption) and the side of it

(interruption) Ah OK

So she yes she does wear the trousers in the relationship, in terms of what she earns and her -- her status in the family

Ah I got on well with them

How -- how about you (NAME)?

All right em my mam's like a housewife OK I'll just put -- put it as simple as it is, just -- just your -- your full on housewife just (interruption) all the charity

(interruption) She's good at it though

Just all the charity work on the side as well y'knaa (pause) just so she feels like she's done a bit of a day's work, (interruption) my dad's like

(interruption) She gets (unclear) places

My dad established himself as like er (pause) the chief bread winner y'knaa so he was like. 'Oh I'm not having my wife working!' like a traditional kind of Geordie bloke (pause) 'ah my wife's not working' like he's down the pits or something (pause) he owns his own or well he used to own his own garage

Mmm

Er (pause) he was just like yeah if I'm going to have some kids I'll let the wife stay at home with them while I work all day long

Get her to put the dinner on the table then, when he comes back from work?

Oh aye absolutely yeah

Oh he's that type of bloke

Aye, he's retired now though er (pause) yeah he's a bit older than y'knaa your standard dad he's well (interruption) he decide

(interruption) Is he, how old is he now?

Sixty-two now

Is he?

Aye he's an old man, he doesn't look it like

He looks about fifty-six

No he doesn't look very old because he's been working all his life, he's like still pretty big and everything like he used to be a bouncer (interruption) when he was younger

(interruption) Oh aye, he's massive, sturdy bloke

Sturdy bloke

He is a sturdy bloke, he's a lot bigger than my dad, he'd knock him straight out!

(laughter) But aye er (pause) so yeah like he worked at the garage all of his life then I got offered the chance to like take over the garage as well but I was like still too young for it

Yeah, yeah

And like there were a load of trades on the down turn that just sell up and like and him and his brother owned the garage (pause) for like several decades before then it was their dad that owned (pause) my grandad who owned

Ah quite generational

Oh Yeah it's been a family business (interruption) for years

(interruption) Famous, famous the Barton's garages!

Aye, aye It's been around for years and years and years like

The Bartons like

Because my uncle used to be like a racing driver they used to race like Formula Two race for the first season of Formula (interruption) One

(interruption) Really?

Yeah but that was back in the days when teams used to be independent (pause) like before the likes of McLaren and BM- and Mercedes would come and used to have your own teams with like Andy Barton's racing team for instance

Sure, yeah

Just too expensive but everyone used to turn up at the car garage and get their vehicles tuned up (pause) like they'd say ah if you've got an Andy Barton's engine in it y'knaa it'd be tuned up really fast

Yeah

Then obviously the motor trade just like down turned like y'knaa the late eighties early nineties and stuff (pause) and they just decided to sell up think it was er (pause) sorry two thousand and four or two thousand and five decided to sell up and then (pause) he's just been chilling out on his allotment since with his (interruption) chickens

(interruption) Aye he's got chickens, he calls them his girls!

Living -- living the good life?

Aye

They provide him with some nice organic eggs

Yeah the only stress now is if the -- the chickens haven't delivered enough eggs this week and so he can't get them out to his er customers who are basically old people in the social club

Yeah he likes the social club aye

Oh Audrey's not going to get her five eggs this week or half a dozen or however many she has or however she (interruption) can manage

(interruption) There'll be hell to pay (laughter)

Oh aye there'll be hell to pay like yeah

And er (pause) how did you two say you -- you know each other again, was it?

How did what?

How do you two know each other again?

er

School

From year nine at school, we went (pause) me and (NAME) went to different middle schools but we started in year nine which makes (pause) thirteen, twelve, thirteen sort of -- sort of time so (pause) I don't really don't think we were in the same class

Our pinpoint Art class

Was it?

I remember the banter we used to have in Art class (pause) like me and (NAME) like normally (pause) people are like if they got some coursework or some work to do they'd have like (pause) they'd either take it really seriously or they'll just they'll not do it at all but we wanted to like

(interruption) You should take it seriously

Aye, you should take (interruption) it (laughter)

(interruption) Take it, take it seriously, get a degree

But like take it seriously but enjoy yourself at the same time, so we would do what was required but have a laugh doing it as well so maybe we didn't come out with the best marks at the end but we (interruption) did what was required

(interruption) I did, come out with the best marks aye, even amazing at drawing

We did what was required OK

Did the minimum to get by? (laughter)

Yeah

No, no, no not necessarily the minimum to get by, just to the best of standards, we're both not artists so we didn't, we weren't too concerned

We weren't going to break a bone doing or pull a muscle doing it put it that way but y'knaa we did what was required if they happened to like it sometimes they did, sometimes they'd give us class marks and we didn't put the

Yeah, yeah

You get the people that put the maximum effort in (pause) but you know they don't necessarily do what the teacher asked of them y'knaa, the put a lot of effort in, we -- we though about it did it had a bit of a laugh doing it and got all right marks at the end so it worked out very well

It's -- it's a good way to go about it isn't it, you have a laugh at the same time

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like we just take everything (interruption) as a bit of a laugh

(interruption) We used to er (pause) we used to sit in, we used to draw football um teams out as well and who's going to be and which of our friends is going to be playing here and here, we used to do it with one of the lads from cricket as well we used to put fielding positions in -- in art 'cause it's more the relaxing sort of lesson

Yeah art was (pause) everyone takes art as the relaxing lesson

When people are really, really serious about it

Yeah well I was semi serious about it as well (pause) you do some coursework aye and you just turn up with a random bit of coursework and you're -- you're requested to do it and you'll do it in the morning before the class (pause) I had a friend that used to just draw a small cat as his coursework every week and just tweak (interruption) it slightly to change the cat

(interruption) Yeah he did he did, he used to just draw a cat

Yeah just drew a cat

But -- but we realised we were interested in the same sort of things, like em just playing football, playing sports, same similar sort of banter like what you'd (interruption) have

(interruption) I remember, I remember walking home (pause) like we used to walk home singing Toon songs like (NAME) was always a Newcastle fan before I was so he started talking to me about all the old Newcastle songs

Yeah just banging on about Newcastle all the time?

Yeah so yeah I'd hear the Newcastle chants like basically think the first Newcastle match I ever went to was on (NAME)'s birthday

It was -- it was my er (pause) fifteenth (interruption) was it fifteenth aye

(interruption) Yeah it was your fifteenth birthday (pause) It was great fun going to that

Yeah we had the game and then we went for a curry afterwards so er

Yeah

Fond memories?

Aye yeah

I remember like (pause) rapping on the way home (laughter) with burgers, we were both like (interruption) Eminem

(interruption) Massively into Eminem as (interruption) well

(interruption) Eminem was a novelty to us

Yeah he swears and things man, he's a novelty this guy he's funny as hell

So we used to learn -- learn the songs and er rap them on the way home

(laughter) (pause) Looking back now, it doesn't seem to -- to wise?

Well, aye it -- it's -- it's interesting at the time, do you know what I (interruption) mean like

(interruption) Yeah, yeah, yeah

It's not something that you can do now but when you're fifteen it is -- it is important like whether you know the latest Eminem lyric is important at fifteen whereas

(interruption) No, well we weren't that bothered if we knew or we didn't we just enjoyed having a laugh about it

Yeah

You know there are some things that people take really, really seriously y'knaa, we (pause) we'll have a more of a laid back approach about aspects of life and stuff and y'knaa we'll have a very logical approach to everything as well

We used to harass our Science teachers as well about em whether they knew why something had happened and 'cause we used to learn about space a lot as well in Science and we used to -- we used to get told stuff and constantly be querying it and so the amount of times the Science teacher would be like um I'll -- I'll tell you next week (pause) (interruption) we're covering that next week

(interruption) And when you're doing something like, when you're doing like Physics and things as well it's like GCSEs and then you're also doing Religious Studies y'knaa they contradict each other so much so, o- once you start going down those lines you're like Oh My God you're like

You can not the lessons themselves don't even don't even

Like, Like the majority of Physicists aren't even religious and then all of a sudden you go to a class where you've got a religious fanatic who doesn't know anything about Physics telling you about religion

Aye, you think which one's which?

And then you think well actually y'knaa it doesn't really make too much sense is like it's all down to education, y'knaa, shows you how powerful it is. Don't fear the man who knows all fear the man who doesn't know anything you know that kind of scenario

But um (pause) yeah, yeah so like any -- any kind of embarrassing moments, f- funny stories from your -- your friendship together?

(laughter) Every, every single night every single night out, (laughter) we'll start with a funny story

Within -- within the constraints of the er the interview situation

There's a lot of funny stories in (unclear) just 'cause we're in (NAME)'s girlfriend's flat at the moment with all her friends having a bit of Sunday dinner today, but like it brings me like a couple of funny stories about things that we've done here, had here and like OK as an example a really snowy day at, it was just after (interruption) Christmas

(interruption) Ah right, right, right

Everybody though that (pause) ah (NAME) thought it was a dirty story coming up here didn't he

No, no it isn't a dirty story

Well erm basically it was like after Christmas all the old er Christmas trees were down the back alleys and things

(laughter) We -- we were walking back after having a couple too many sherries er before Christmas

Festive (pause) that was after Christmas

Oh yeah it was after Christmas that's right, there was a there was a few trees er (pause) discarded in the street and we truly believed it was a nice thing to do to bring them home and to -- to my girlfriend's flat as gifts yes

Doesn't matter that they're brown they're still Christmas trees it it's all (interruption) that counts

(interruption) It's the gesture, the gesture

But we truly, truly in -- in the state that we were in thought it was nice of us to bring these trees back

And the trees are bigger than ourselves y'knaa, they were -- they were big trees, sturdy trees, we wouldn't take them

We lugged them about three quarters of a mile back to er (pause) (NAME)'s house

Yeah putting the effort in

Did you not get any -- any funny looks while you were, while you were moving them?

Oh aye loads of them

No, no, we just, we just saluted whoever like made a funny comment or gave us a funny look and just smiled at them just continued y'knaa, we just -- just doing our general wittery thing and basically we got to the bottom of the stairs in (NAME)'s house (pause) (NAME) opened the door to us and we're like, 'ah hello we've got presents, (interruption) as Christmas presents'

(interruption) She's like 'No, no you can't -- can't bring those in, please don't'

She's just shaking her head at us (interruption) basically

(interruption) We were like 'no honestly it's all right (pause) they're for you!'

And -- and (NAME)'s friends know exactly what we're like as well y'knaa, they know exactly what we're like and so they know if they shout at us and tell us no, we'll just do it the opposite. So they were like, they had they had to talk to us like children like, '(NAME), (NAME), it's OK we really don't want presents' and I was like, 'ah, no skin off my back it's all right' (pause) (interruption) as I'm dragging the tree

(interruption) Aye, aye we'll take them, we'll take them up the stairs aye (laughter)

It's like -- it's like 'we don't -- don't want you to put your back out all right, I know it's a heavy tree look I'll carry it to the top of the stairs for you' and I'm lumping this big tree up the stairs there's splinters flying off it (interruption) everywhere, making such a mess

(interruption) There was, there was such a (pause) covering the carpet

Tearing the wallpaper off, I was like 'I'm all right I can carry it up the stairs!'

I was like, '(NAME) come on we'll get them both in the living room it'll be like a jungle, (interruption) it'll be nice'

(interruption) I'll set it up nice and sturdy OK, basically we're told to get out the house, (NAME) is making a (interruption) move (pause)

(interruption) We're told -- we're told that we -- we had to take them outside straight away and (pause) they weren't welcome and we weren't welcome and then in the morning I had to do about an hour's worth of hoovering to get all the -- the pine needles off the stairs and (pause) it didn't seem as funny in the morning

No (pause) No that was the same night that the er taxi driver shouted at us for erm

Yes, we were playing around in the street with the snow, throwing it at each other and some of it accidentally ended up on a taxi (pause) and what happened was the taxi driver span it round and came back up the road, downed his window and said 'stop, stop messing around like -- like four-year-olds' and (NAME) had one in his -- in his hand and from the hip straight across the street managed to get it through the tiniest gap (interruption) in the taxi driver's window

(interruption) As he's starting to realise, winds the window back up again (laughter)

And the window was literally coming back up to us, honestly there was about that much left and it -- it went through clean as you like all over the dashboard, so we -- we departed

Probably -- probably didn't go down too well with the taxi driver?

Yeah But when you're in a festive mood (interruption) as well

(interruption) It was a festive mood!

It's -- it's all about the spirit you know, the spirit of it yeah. They weren't ice balls (unclear) ice balls and snowballs; it was a friendly snow ball

It was just -- it was just nice, nice (pause) you got out your powdery snow

It's a kind of one where your grandparents would say, 'ah back in the day we did that all the time' y'knaa, your grandparents did it back in the day then surely it's fine

It's all right to do isn't it? Indeed, indeed um yeah moving away from er the more humorous -- humorous moments um are you both -- both still studying is that right?

Well, con sort of continually studying, I've just er, we've just passed the part of my, part of the course on my job now because obviously since I've started working -- working in recruitment now, that they've got their own exams and their own sort of em (pause) certificates that you have to have so, since joining there they've put me instantly into another sort of course that we had to do so that was about six or seven months worth of studying and then an exam from that, um so yes aye, you're sort of continually studying and -- and (NAME) yourself you'll -- you'll be doing similar sort of things in terms of learning and continually -- continually learning